Some would define a good man by what he’d be like, listing character traits like bravery, courage, or selflessness.
Others would go by what he’d do, like provide for a family, or be a good leader.
And still others would define a good man by comparison, citing examples of men they perceived as good.
The Alpha Male: jacked and flush with cash; seemingly having it all together
The Old-School Cowboy: well-mannered and hard-working; always keeping his emotions in check
The Pop Icon: artistic and cool; a role model by default because of his massive following
The Star Athlete: talented and physically fit; stacking up awards and public approval
This is not an exhaustive list, and it’s not a definitive list, either.
“So, young men have a lot of options for role models. That’s good, right?”
No, not exactly.
We naturally compare ourselves to other men and we sense the pressures of society, but the target - and how to hit it - isn’t exactly clear.
We quickly learn that it’s not safe to ask questions or be unsure of yourself. Then we’re told to box up our emotions, “be men”, and move forward.
We learn what we can when we can, but it’s haphazard.
Bottom line: this is not ideal.
“Ok, so what is the ideal?”
Community.
For thousands of years, young men grew up in the company of older men. They lived together, worked together, and told stories together.
This communal setup provides natural mentorship for every man as well as the social support needed to learn, grow, and become a very good man.
The sad reality is that Western society has been choosing individualism over community for a long time.
But we grow best in community.
We heal best in community.
And we experience life best in community.
"But you're going to tell me I need to talk about my feelings, aren't you?"
Yes...yes I am.
Becoming a good man and building the life you want takes hard work, but it’s work that’s not meant to be done alone.
That’s why I started The Akkeri and became a coach.
I wanted to create a space where men see vulnerability as strength so they can more easily share their experiences and find understanding, support, and growth.
I also wanted to share the education and tools that have helped me so that men are better equipped to understand themselves and how to build the lives they want.
But more important than my credentials and experience is who I am: a self-aware, empathetic man who genuinely enjoys holding space for other men and lifting them up.
Through stories, interviews, and social commentary, The Akkeri is highlighting how men and masculinities are portrayed, the challenges modern men face, and how to chart a better way forward.
Because we need a conversation about men and masculinity that is deeply spiritual, profoundly vulnerable, and, with any luck, personally and culturally transformative.
Lofty goals, I know, but why not?
Conversations that are unscripted, authentic, and fun
Interviews that are informative, inspiring, and practical
A community that sees practiced vulnerability as strength, open-mindedness as courage, and respect as foundational
